what canterbury soul needs (no jokes, please)

following the footsteps of goodthomas, minx, maht, i’ve done a google search on “canterbury soul needs”. This is fun. Here are the results:

Canterbury Soul needs to suck it up and give the ball to Yao.
(Hey, I don’t like doing favours, besides, it’s not my fault Yao couldn’t reach the ball. He’s a bloody giant, you know.)

Canterbury Soul needs his dvds, pills.
(If only someone gives me more money to get those Grace Kelly dvds. And no, I don’t need pills. I need bills to wither my wealth. Damn it!)

Canterbury Soul needs to beef up his wardrobe.
(This is so true. Whenever I put on my smart long-sleeves at school, they always ask why. I tell them I have nothing else to pick in the mornings.)

Canterbury Soul needs to go away for a long time.
(Not so true. I love my wife and daughter too much to leave. Unless I can take them to the world of Barnia, as according to my students’ imagination, where its citizens, aptly named Barneys, greet you, “Bood borning! Bow bo bou bo?” and swear with words like, “Boh bhit! Bi brewed bit bup bagain!”)

Canterbury Soul needs to sharpen his game a la paris hilton
(What game? Taping myself in bed? Recording an album when I can’t sing? Posing for Guess? Come on, what’s so great about her that I have to follow her suit? Her final destination is almost like mine. Just that I’m going up and she’s…?)

Canterbury Soul needs to do to regain his form tonight.
(I struggled a bit last night…and it took me awhile before releasing my full load. Yes, I need to get it right tonight before I even dream of beating Nadal on clay. What? I thought we are talking about tennis?)

Canterbury Soul needs to eventually reach 8 apg in order to keep his teammates involved as he should.
(No idea what this is. But I know there is no ‘i’ in the word ‘team’.)

Canterbury Soul needs his teammates in order to be successful.
(What did I say earlier?)

Canterbury Soul needs to continue making strides in helping his team win.
(Ditto.)

Canterbury Soul needs to complete lines 1, 13-19. and 21 on the front of form 503 to claim his refund.
(What a ****! So much trouble for the puny amount of 20 cents doesn’t speak well for the ministry for good-for-something politicians.)

Canterbury Soul needs surgery to repair a herniated disc and will miss the rest of the season.
(Thank goodness, this isn’t happening to me really. The doctors have confirmed that my condition is much less serious. Just a non-permanent brain damage.)

Canterbury Soul needs to go to confession.
(I have tons of confessions. Which one to start with? Ok, I confess I had dreamt of being the no.1 blogger of all time.)

Canterbury Soul needs a head coach for varsity softball and assistant coaches for varsity boys and girls basketball, boys water polo and girls tennis.
(I need a billionaire sponsor for my academy of sports, seriously. Mr Gates, are you interested?)

Canterbury Soul needs to go.
(Where to?)

Canterbury Soul needs to go because trust me, he will not accept his diminished role without some level of negativity.
(Oh, have I been replaced here at “doors left open”?)

Canterbury Soul needs to be gone too.
(Does the world really want me gone completely?)

Canterbury Soul needs to hire a public relations rep as soon as possible.
(Looking at the way I communicate with fellow bloggers, I have to strongly agree.)

Canterbury Soul needs to grow up.
(I swear I’m not under 18.)

Canterbury Soul needs both funds as well as national exposure.
(Will anyone sponsor me to but my blog on TV?)

Canterbury Soul needs to put he’s ego aside.
(I always thank God I’m a humble person. Don’t believe me? Check my name tag on my chest: “The Most Humble Man on Earth”. I have no ego.)

Canterbury Soul needs emergency medical treatment.
(Looking at the amount of trash written here, I think I need it now.)

Canterbury Soul needs more room.
(This really is subjective. I don’t know how to respond here.)

Canterbury Soul needs to take more of a leadership role.
(I plan to take Bucephalus and lead my army of words to conquer Asia first!)

Canterbury Soul needs Margot because, as Margot herself has accurately observed, he could not find another wife if Margot were to leave him.
(Margot, you are so damned wrong. I’ve gone on to find another three wives.)

Canterbury Soul needs help for 40 homeless cats.
(Quick someone! Before I put them all in Bucephalus’ den.)

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Published in: on Monday, May 28, 2007 at 1:42 pm  Comments (6)  
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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. CS – You are seeming very needy. Now try to see what you get!

  2. Sorry to hear about all the cats and about your being fired from your blog. It sounds like they might keep you on as a contributor, though…

  3. will see what i get, Verilion.

    no way, Maht, they can’t kick me out just like that. 🙂

  4. How do I do this? I went to google to search, but I can’t see anything similar to your entry. Can you help me on this? I’m curious on what “Louis Needs”.

    Thanks.

    Cheers, 😉

  5. I bet after you’ve given the ball to Yao, bought every Grace Kelly dvd & beefed up your wardrobe with the money that Mr. Gates gives you and your teams, you’ll be able to go away for a long time so that you and Bucephalus can take over Asia! Then on your triumphant return, you could win your blog back!
    Leave Paris & Margot with the 40 cats to watch it in the meantime, with strict instructions as to posting content and behavior.

    We’ll keep and eye out for your page & catsitters while you’re gone… that’s what a pride is there for.

    Scarlett & Viaggiatore

  6. what a beautiful life you’ve just painted for me, S & V! thank you so much! i’m really glad to be part of this pride! 🙂


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