perhaps white?

you tell me.

you see, my wife and i had always wanted our little girl to quit being pacified by the pacifier just before sleeptime. as much as we tried, we just couldn’t get her to do it. but we did know that at her nanny’s place, Faith could sleep without the pacifier for she had bitten the teat into two pieces some months ago. so we thought we could do something to tarnish the reputation of the pacifier. one evening at bedtime, we told her that the pacifier was being bitten by a cockroach, a creature she very much fears. since then, she never sees or wants to see the pacifier.

are we guilty of misleading?

pacify her

today,
i asked daddy
for my pai zeh zeh.
he told me i’m a big girl,
i don’t need my pai zeh zeh.
i disagreed. i asked him for my
pai zeh zeh. then he went on asking
me if barney, bj, baby bob, elmo, woody,
buzz lightyear, boo, huckle, nemo have pai
zeh zeh in their mouths, and each time I said,
“no.” then, he went on saying, “you don’t
need pai zeh zeh then.” i still disagree,
though i have to admit i was almost
won over. pai zeh zeh has been
and will always be my prized
possession. no one can
take it away from me.
not my daddy or
my mummy.
period.

enjoyable, yet disturbed

had a rather great time in hong kong, though the weather was generally hot. all the shopping, walking, family bonding, partying at disneyland, etc. Faith’s really grown a lot. we all cherished our time spent with her during this vacation. the only problem we had with her was she wanted to be carried most of the time. guess she wanted to build the hercules in the two of us.

went to shenzhen (china) on wednesday for a day’s tour. other than the fact that we were ‘conned’ into various ‘unchartered’ locations, i must mention that this trip and my stay in hong kong had offered me some sights that made me think. you see, the backdrop of hong kong (and shenzhen) is often made up of short, old, run-down houses and tall, modern, well-built skyscrapers. this contrast of old and new, poor and rich, couldn’t be described in any way. and this contrast could be seen amongst the people on the streets too. one scene in shenzhen, in particular, will stay in my mind for quite a while. as we were walking up an overhead bridge, we saw this woman carrying a sleeping baby and sitting on the floor. she was picking and eating some discarded rice from an overturned garbage bin. i did not feel for her, to be honest. but my heart ached when i saw the baby. perhaps i have a girl myself and i know the needs of a child. i couldn’t imagine how this mother could meet her baby’s needs. i really felt and still feel sad for the young life.

equality in the human race is just a myth. this, i acknowledge. but what can we do to minimise this inequality? we have people finding food from bins. we have p hilton getting away with a mysterious medical condition. we have african children walking around carrying fatal viruses. we have others splurging on lavish wedding celebrations. we…?

but of course, i’m probably looking at what’s obvious to the eyes. perhaps, deep inside every heart there is a soul that can be satisfied easily. all this soul needs is a rare gem called…

Contentment

Hell to those who despise
For they know not what we need
We may not have them all
But we do have each other
Which means so much more
Than what this freaking world
Could barely offer

You are all i care
You are all i have
You are all i need
And that’s fucking so enough

and this is what i seriously need to cultivate in my own life.

greece is the word

as if to give my little girl an early birthday present, my beloved Liverpool had just beaten Chelsea 4-1 on penalties in the Champions League semi-final. ahhh…memories of 2005 come flooding back now. will celebrate my girl’s 2nd birthday on 25th this month…and will probably celebrate Liverpool’s triumph in the final at athens. savoury, savoury!

poor girl

Faith has fallen sick. After a rather nasty fall which had her lip cut (leading to two ulcers) last Friday, she now has a runny nose and teary eyes, and a little phlegm in the throat. Jennifer took a day’s leave to take Faith to the doctor who found a little ear infection as well. Our girl has succumbed to a virus. When I saw her after work, she was still energetic despite all the discomfort. But my heart ached (still aching) when I saw her sniffing her nose and rubbing the thick tear stains from her eyes. I really pray that the medication that she’s on now will work wonders fast. Pray with me, won’t you?

FAITHfulness

The Chinese New Year break is over. But I had a good time with my family. Had been indulging in some serious FAITHfulness. Took lots of pictures of her. She’s grown a lot. Always count her twice when I count my blessings.

I love her very much! And, I love her mother too.

only she

I was spending another short but great evening with my daughter. Just the two of us. As I watched her draw, sing, dance and bounce; as I showered her, cuddled her and dressed her up, I couldn’t help but feel a great sense of gratitude. What have I done to deserve this little girl? Despite the rebel in me and my foolhardy deeds, this beautiful soul in front of me is here to make me proud. I don’t deserve her. But she’s here to teach me precious lessons. Probably her greatest lesson for me is taught through her name – Faith.

25.05.2005

This is one date that I will definitely remember very well for the rest of my life.

In the wee hours that morning, Jennifer’s water bag broke. Time to rush to Thomson Medical Centre. We were excited, anxious yet calm about it. I drove her safely to our destination. She was escorted up while I went through the paper work.

In the delivery room, she went through waves after waves of contraction. I was by her side, feeling rather useless. All I could do was to comfort her. Seconds turned to minutes which turned to hours. To me it was a long wait. But I think to her it was eternity. Her pain was intense even with the mask over her.

Then the time had to come. Lawrence ambled in. In less than half an hour, the baby was delivered. Time was 7.38 a.m. My little Faith was there in front of me.

By evening, all were taken care of. I was busy taking pictures of the baby. Jennifer looked weary, but she was relieved and happy. I told her I would come early next morning.

Back home, I turned in early, not because I was really tired. I wanted to have ample sleep before waking up at 3 to watch the Champions League final between my beloved Liverpool and Milan. I slept well, probably because of the joy of being a father.

In fact, I slept too well. When I woke up, the match had gone into half-time. When I saw the highlights of the first half, I could not believe my eyes. Liverpool 0 Milan 3! Lost, gone, dead and buried. I shut my eyes, hoping that I could continue my sweet dreams and forget the heart-breaking scoreline.

Rotten luck! I woke up suddenly to witness the first 5 minutes of the second half. Never mind, I should continue to watch the game for entertainment sake. And since I called myself a loyal Liverpool supporter, I must as well…

Then, the incredible happened (something which the whole world of football would know by now). My dearest Liverpool fought back and scored three goals by the 90th minute. The rest……hit the post……Riise missed……Dudek wobbled……Shevchenko missed……Gerrard lifted the cup!

On the day when Faith was brought to Earth by her sensational parents, Milan was brought down to Earth by a sensational Liverpool FC.

How can I forget this day?

(Ps: one disappointment though: Bo Bice lost the American Idol final.)