doors left open

this is the first time for me, really. so naturally, my entire being isn’t sure how to react. the last two days i’ve been having mixed emotions and my mind’s been thinking a lot. past, present or even future. can’t believe it or can’t accept it, i couldn’t really tell the difference. lots of ‘what if’s have been lingering too. i guess it’s just the irrational behaviour under a rational circumstance. is it just someone passing on? no. or is it someone special passing on? not sure. all these afterthoughts probably don’t mean much now. all i can confess is that i miss her. but then again, i might not have felt it if nothing has happened. so it’s the same own cliché, right? appreciate who you have now before a sudden departure arrives.

any comfort from this? not sure too. oh, perhaps, or most definitely, yes. she’s with Him now.

Lying before me
Is a path so less travelled
I’m waiting for you

The canary stopped
Singing songs of Solomon
Rot stripped its heart bare

The snake had swallowed
The clump of news that rang loud
Rattle that damned worm!

Circle has come full
On a night of yesteryears
Lucifer buried

The ghost of the past
Often comes haunting just when
You think it’s over

Pretending to drink
sake from my fan,
sprinkled with cherry petals.

Bashō

Another haiku?
Yet more cherry blossoms -
not my face.

Bashō

Do not forget the plum,
blooming
in the thicket.

Bashō

Now cat’s done
mewing, bedroom’s
touched by moonlight.

Bashō

Spring rain -
under trees
a crystal stream

Bashō

New Year - the Bashō-Tosei
hermitage
a-buzz with haiku.

Bashō

Fields, mountains
of Hubaku, in
nine days - spring.

Bashō

since c.s. is away and has given me every opportunity to post anything, i have decided to post a haiku a day until he returns. (i might still put up something else along the way.) these are translated writings done by one of the great japanese masters, Matsuo Bashō. Lucien Stryk did all the translations. enjoy reading!

In my new robe
this morning -
someone else.

cow on holy trail
takes on path of redemption
narcissistic fool!

have you ever met someone (in person or not) whom you hardly know and yet somehow feel connected with him/her? it seems like you have known him/her long enough for you to be able to communicate with him/her. you think you could understand this person and the needs. and this person has exactly the same sentiments towards you. this sense of belonging, i reckon, often emerges because gaps exist in our lives. i strongly believe that every one of us, no matter how successful we are, has some gaps in our lives that yearn to be filled. hence, when someone comes along in our lives, this sense of belonging surfaces. perhaps, this also reflects our lack of contentment in our own lives, a phenomenon that often occurs.

so what do we do when this someone appears? do we start building a relationship? do we maintain communicating with this person at the acquaintance level? or do we even bother doing anything?

it’s the wee hours in the morning and i’m no longer sure if i’m sane when writing this post.

a haiku to sum up my babbling…

beneath the colours
lies an affection that stirs
a magnum opus?